Tuesday, September 4, 2012

It's a Tragic Tuesday

Tragic is an overstatement, and potentially a sad play on "Manic Monday" ;)

This will probably end up being a slightly TMI post.

I was on a mini vacation during the later part of last week, a staycay, if you will.  I spent a great deal of timing ripping off KMart and shopping for new bras/socks.  I left KMart with $60 worth of stuff for about half of that in actual money thanks to coupons, clearance, and sales.  I came away from this weekend with two news bras and some undies :D  Any of the weight I've lost has been coming off around my torso so I've got a couple of bras that are a little big and rub too much which was getting painfully uncomfortable so I splurged a little...though, not really, because both bras AND four new pairs of undies came in at $25.  Pretty awesome!

I've stuck to the 100 pushups programs and 200 squats/situps really well so far!  I'm surprised I've stuck for it two whole weeks already!  1/3 of the way through...almost.  I've got to do day 3 of weeks 2 (pushups) and 4 (squats/situps) when I get home because I wasn't awake enough this morning.  I crashed on the couch around 11/12 and hubby woke me up around 3 to come to bed, which of course means "snuggles" so I didn't actually get back to sleep until about 4 and was supposed to wake up at 6:30 to workout, straighten my hair, and get ready for work.  Instead, when my alarm went off I had a slight headache from being tense when I fell asleep (irritable, really, since I wasn't going to be getting a full, straight, night of sleep) so switched my alarm to 7.  When I got up to straighten my hair at 7, I decided that my hair was pointless since it's cloudy and supposed to be raining so I started the dryer (last night's laundry) and went back to bed (the couch) and slept another hour until 8.  I spent no time on my makeup, threw my food together, and got out the door to be at work at 9.  I am NOT in the best mood today...irritated more than anything.

I hate to sound...nit picky, but I'm sure you guys can relate...er, women can relate ;)  When I'm sleepy, I. AM. SLEEPY.  I DO NOT want to be woken up.  I'm trying to fix my sleep schedule, but it's difficult when I try to go to bed and husband acts all disappointed, so I've gotten to where I just crash on the couch, because that make SO MUCH difference.  It goes from "Aw, you're going to bed?" to not caring at all that I've "fallen asleep"...until it's time for him to go to bed...at 3am.  Then he wakes me up to come to bed so I'm WIDE AWAKE by the end of it all that I feel like I've only gotten 2 hours of sleep (because being wide awake completely cancels the first 3 hours of sleep and I have to start over).

I've talked to him about it, but it still isn't clicking.  He falls asleep after work because he's tired because he was up late because he fell asleep after work, so I end up napping to catch sleep where I can (usually while when he's fallen asleep after work, predicting the 3am wake up call), but unlike him being good and awake until 3am (he doesn't wake up until 8), I'm still sleepy at my normal bed time because this schedule has me so freaking screwed up mentally.  I've told him that if...snuggles...are really that important to him (because I don't give a damn about...snuggles... when I'm sleepy [any other time is good]...side affect from being fat?) to hit me up after work.  But of course he doesn't.  I've tried telling him to let me go to bed and just wake me up when he decides to come to bed so I don't have to completely ruin my sleep pattern by totally waking up because really?  Who's having mind blowing...snuggles... at 3am when you're both tired.  I can shuffle just fine, but physically being woken up to get off the couch because he throws a fit when I try to turn in for the night really screws up the rest of the day for me.  He says I'm impossible to wake...well, that's because my sleep schedule is so screwed up from playing this awful game that when I'm asleep, I REALLY NEED THE SLEEP and won't be woken.  Shocker, I know.  It's not obvious or anything. AND it doesn't even matter where I fall asleep because he can't even wake me up when I'm on the couch (1 out of 5 nights) because I really need the sleep from being interrupted the night before and not getting a full night's rest (seeing a pattern) so now he's upset because I'm crashing on the couch and he's lonely in bed, but it's the only way I can catch a break.  It's a horrible, horrible cycle.  Ridiculous, really.

This is all killing my workouts, too, because I HATE, with a passion, working out after work.  I'm normally a morning person...normally, not lately because of the sleep issues (going on probably at least a year now).  I don't care how it works out (I'll happily sleep on the couch every single night because I'm not super clingy like he is), but he's all in cahoots about it.

Last week went really well for both of us because he made an effort to not crash after work.  It's amazing what that ONE change did for both of us, mentally and physically.  This week has not been off to the same start and now I'm physically stressed out and upset and today is DRAGGING :(

Sorry for the rant...it's just so frustrating.  And being tired makes me want to eat everything in sight.  I haven't yet, thankfully, and I keep asking myself if I'm really hungry, thirsty, or bored.  Did I mention that when he's napping, it's impossible to wake him up (or at least he used to be)?  He won't set an alarm, and gets upset if I let him sleep too late, but it's a real waste of my time to spend an hour coming in and out of the bedroom trying to wake him up.  He finally seems to get that one...that if he sleeps too late he needs to fix it because I'm not staying by his side every waking minute for an hour to make sure he's actually waking up/getting up because I have better things to do, like maintaining a clean house, making dinner, and personal hobbies besides sleeping (in the event that I actually don't feel like napping).  He says to shake him or turn on the light, but that stuff makes me really angry when people do that to me...like, REALLY angry...hostile, even, so I refuse to do that to him.  I used the phrase "taking responsibility for your own schedule cause I'm not your mom", or something like that, and that seems to have made the process a little easier.

It's so stupid.  I know he's slowly making and effort because we both agree that we need a more structured schedule when it's time to start a family, with actual human children and not just the cats.  Although, I'm really hoping for a puppy first ;)  It's much more motivating to get up in the morning to go walking when you have someone to keep you company, and potentially protect you on dark early morning walks :)

Here's some cute to make it all better <3

No comments:

Post a Comment