Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I'm a Plumber, Woo!

Although, a plumber may mock me for the problem in the first place.  I put a bucket under that "U" shaped pipe under the sink and pull it off.  It looked like a cap.  It took me a second to realize that it was hardened grease.  Mmhmm.  Thank you, "experts", for saying to wash down grease with cold water so it hardens early in the event that it clogs the drain.  It made it easy to clean, and now it works great again!  At the same time, and "expert" would never tell you  to pour grease down the drain as it is ;)

Another thing, and maybe I'm just falling off my rocker here, but I miss courtship.  You know, new love...flirting, eyeing, asking yourself "does he really like me."  I hate to be cliche, but there's no mystery!  Yes, I know he likes me.  He married me, for crying out loud, but there *could* be more mystery than that... spontaneity, I mean!  I know we don't have money to go out for a night on the town.  Even when we do go out, there's no holding hands or "I love yous".  We drive to the park, walk around, then go home.

I still get butterflies, but I just don't know if he does anymore.  I still try to be attentive and affectionate, and all I get home after I've been working since 7am on Saturday is, "can I use your phone?  My phone won't work."  I try to bat my eyes and I get, "what are you staring at?"  I try to be silly and poke fun, and he gets all offended or acts like I'm bothering him.

Sometimes he'll walk up behind me while I'm doing dishes and give me a kiss, a moment, but not nearly as often as I'd like.  And then he wonders why I'm grouchy, etc.  I don't care about sex (to an extent, of course).  I care about the little things.  I like when he just holds me and kisses me on the forehead.  I like when he rubs my back, but I have to beg for hugs, quiet kisses, and as we're falling asleep he rolls over so I can rub his back.

I know there's a point where you get comfortable and the excitement goes away, but I'm not even talking about the excitement...like I said, I want the little things!  It sounds so stereotypical woman of me to be saying all of this, but these are the things he used to do and was very passionate about doing.  We don't just sit and stare into each other's eyes.  I stare when he's sleeping.  I notice how he's changed over the years, both physically, and mentally.

I can't help but feel that my weight has affected the way he thinks of me, because I know it's certainly affected the way I think about myself.  I know he said he loved me before I lost all of the weight the first time, but coming back to TN and seeing me thinner, I know it's been hard on both of us to see me heavy again.  It's so much harder to lose the weight this time.

Maybe I'm just crazy, and maybe marriage really is a boring and awful as people make it sound.  I try to work at it and show him that I love him.  Everything I do is devoted to him and us.  It's the only thing that keeps everything else around me okay and tolerable.  I really think that love is all that matters.  Yes, you need money to function in this world, but focusing on your relationship and love for one another keeps you mentally prepared to work through the short comings.  When you devote your time to making another person happy, it spreads and you can't help but be happy, too.  As for him, he's more worried about being able to buy this action figure or that action figure.  He's so materialistic!  Maybe that isn't a thought process, but a personality difference?

Maybe I'm being selfish because he buys all of these material things and I feel I can't because of my debts I'm paying off.  But, he has debts, too.  Maybe money really is the problem here.

Is that the Mad Hatter, I see?!

And, of course, as I start crying and feeling down about the whole thing, he comes home and kisses me hello.  WHY does he only ever do that when I'm ready to crash and burn?!  He doesn't even know about these issues because they feel petty and ridiculous so I don't want him to worry about it.  Yet, here I am ranting to the public.  I did state in my first post that this is my place to rant and sort through my thoughts, though.  Welcome to my mind!

*sigh*  I think I've been stuck inside too much today.  I'm going to finish laundry and put together my recipe binder.

Sorry for the rant.

NOT How I Wanted My Day Off

I  came home yesterday to a slow draining kitchen sink.  When both sides have water in them, they always drain slowly so I figured I would let it do it's thing.  Ryan woke me up this morning to tell me there was water in the floor.  The slow draining water was draining into the dishwasher and the dishwasher ran out of room so it ran into the floor!  I suppose this is better than it running out of the pipes under the sink and soaking everything.  Now I have to figure out where the clog is and WHY it suddenly decided to do this to me!  I have a feeling this will be a job bigger than a baking soda/vinegar fix >.<

All of you online bankers, this is for you!  When you swipe your card as credit at a gas station, it soft posts as $1.00 until it goes through.  Our budget is TIGHT.  It drives me crazy when that $1.00 sits there and I don't know how much money to subtract in place of that dollar because Ryan can't remember how much gas he put in the car.  Also, the dates get screwed up depending on when the card was swiped and when it goes through.  It's been almost a WEEK and the soft post is just sitting there.  What's taking so long?!?!?!

I guess that's all I have for now.  I'm off to fix the sink/dishwasher, and out to get stuff to make macaroni and cheese for work tomorrow!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Quiet Sunday at Home

I woke up at 8, had breakfast, and got caught up on blogs that I follow that I forgot about during this week's adjustment period.  After waking Ryan and making a light lunch, I began working on small projects I've been wanting to tackle.

I keep finding earrings and jewelry that I forget I have.  I don't have anywhere to hang them so they are often pushed to the side, even some of my favorite pieces.  Diane got me an earring tree for Christmas last year, and while it's awesome, and I love it, it's just too small to accommodate all of it.  I sewed a wall hanging with a meshy fabric, very antique looking, for my hook earrings.  I will be using the tree for earrings with backs.  I am going to work on necklace and bracelet storage/display next.  I know what I want to do...I just have to do it.

I had apples sitting on the counter from forever ago that are still good.  Apples are amazing like that.  As long as they haven't been bruised, they last a damned long time!  I didn't feel like making pie, partly because I'm too lazy to make and roll the dough...not even that...cleaning the counter, again, after rolling the dough and trying to get the stuck flour off!  Bowls are easy and I wanted apple something, then I thought "Muffins!!"  I've been craving muffins, but didn't know what kind so I googled and found this recipe:  http://bakingbites.com/2009/02/apple-cinnamon-muffins/

I added 2 tsp cinnamon instead of 1 1/2.  Truth be told, I'm a cinnamon fiend so I would add even more next time...and less sugar.  I might play with whole wheat vs all purpose.  They were still delicious and had plenty of soft apple pieces per bite.  They could even pass for caramel apple muffins thanks to the brown sugar and vanilla.  They're awesome.

Ryan found a coffee pot on Amazon for $10 so Thursday morning (pay day), I'm ordering one!!!  I guess I'll be making lattes for now...after work.  I don't have time for all of that first thing in the morning.

Ryan is raving on and on about how good dinner was, so I guess I'll share what I made.  It's stupid easy...no joke.  I prefer to use all natural/organic/yada yada products, but typical commercial brands will work.  It's not the healthiest, so I had smaller portions...we've talked about this before.

I don't know what to call it:


Chicken cut of choice.  I had tenderloins on hand, but I've used breast before, slicing it as needed...if needed...I suppose it depends on how much crust to chicken ratio you want ;)

A container (tupperware, ftw) with ranch dressing in it for dipping

Container with crushed croutons (typically bread crumbs, but I was out), parmesan cheese (2:1.5 ratio ish crumbs to cheese), and a small bit of flour (this I made up tonight...maybe this was the secret ingredient for hubby's raving??).

Heat oven to 425ish degrees (ish because my oven is stupid)
Dip chicken in ranch dressing.
Dip ranched dipped chicken into crouton mixture.
Place coated chicken on a baking sheet that you've greased with your product of choice (I rubbed olive oil on foil since it always sticks....it didn't stick tonight, though!!!!)
Bake about 20 minutes.  I use a meat thermometer to check the temperature...because my oven is stupid.

That's it, but it's apparently amazing.  I'm not gonna lie...the dressing makes the chicken ridiculously tender, and I feel better baking than frying it.  I've also made it using barbecue sauce instead of ranch.  It was interesting, but still delicious.

I am looking forward to roasted brussels sprouts tomorrow!  We had carrots tonight...boo.  I only eat them for variety and because they're good for me.  I wouldn't touch them if it weren't for that...although, they're pretty good after running them through my juicer :)

Oh, I also FINALLY hemmed the curtain in the bathroom.  It was a floor length curtain that my mother in law gave us and it fit the colors in the bathroom, but the window is a half window above the toilet.  For months (since January????) I've had it held up with hair clips to keep it off the toilet paper and out of the way.  Now I have my hair clips back :)

My father in law dropped by today, too.  It's always nice to see him <3

Right now, Micah is over and the guys are watching Forward Unto Dawn.  I guess I'm off to work on my jewelry organization project and to wash dinner dishes...if I can get this cat off my lap.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

What A Week!

I have really enjoyed Bristol so far...well, for the most part.  I like my coworkers.  I don't like the pain in my feet!  They hurt...bad.  They burn and feel bruised.  It still hurts to walk and I haven't worked today and I've barely been up and about!  It's awful, and I can't afford the shoes I need.  I don't know if we'll be able to afford to stay in the house we're renting, for that matter, and the holidays are fast approaching.  I'm trying to stay up beat about it all, but it really is getting me down.

I bought tennis shoes a while back, and they felt so comfortable in the store.  I was able to workout no problem.  They are apparently horrible for standing 8-10 hours a day.  I bought some insoles and they did a little better...not much at all, though.  I wore Ryan's converse which are normally horrible on my feet, but they did better than my tennis shoes!  I've been coming home every night, soaking and massaging my feet, but it doesn't do any good.  They just hurt.  It probably doesn't help that I'm overweight.

I've had some difficulty adjusting to the random schedule and find myself waking at the same time anyway.  I did take advantage of not having to be in until 10:30 on Thursday and slept until 8:45.  That was nice.  We had a mandatory staff meeting at 7:45 wednesday night so I didn't get home until after 9.  I got off at 5 so I explored and made myself familiar with the surrounding areas of the city until I got bored and went back to work.  I sat in the car until it was time for the meeting to start.  There is even less to do in Bristol than in Johnson City.

The perks of the new schedule is working Saturdays.  This wouldn't normally be a good thing, but we close at 12 so it's not like I've wasted much of my day.  I have Monday off since I'm working next Saturday so I'll finally get some me time AND girl time in the same day :D  I am impatiently looking forward to both.

I have managed to stay on top of house cleaning even with the odd schedule.  I didn't clean Thursday night since we went to the grocery store and didn't get back until midnight, but it didn't take long to straighten back up.  I cleaned old stuff out of the fridge as I put new stuff in, but was too tired to toss the food in the garbage and clean the containers so I left them sitting out.  The milk formed a leak and I found it this morning...all over the counter.  I am shocked that it didn't smell, but I was thoroughly disgusted when I picked it up to toss it and there was a puddle under it.  I had to remove everything from the counter and wipe it clean.  This turned out to be a good thing, though, as it gave me the idea to rearrange the kitchen.  I also realized that I don't use the slow cooker as much as I'd like so I put it and the extra blender in the cabinet which freed up some counter space.

Yesterday morning proved to be a gorgeous drive.  There was a thick fog over the lack and river with the sun shining through.  I also have time to drink my coffee on the way to work.  Or at least, it *did*.  I broke my coffee pot this morning when I was cleaning it.  I accidentally dropped a pot in the sink on a glass.  The glass didn't break, but the coffee pot that took the indirect hit broke.  The glasses we got as a wedding gift break super easy, except this morning when it most definitely should have broken.  So upset!  I've had that coffee pot for YEARS.  My dad got me a coffee pot/espresso machine combo for Christmas the first year Ryan and I were together...partly with selfish intentions as he had recently grown to love coffee.  But the fact remains, the machine still works great!  I don't know what I'd do if the machine itself broke.  I can replace the pot relatively cheaply.

Tonight's dinner was fun.  We made enchiladas and wet burritos.  I threw together some rice.  I sauteed uncooked rice in some butter, and when it browned a bit, I put it in the rice cooker with some salsa and taco seasoning.  It taste just like the boxed stuff, but much better for you without all of the preservatives!  It even had that semi dry texture like you find in restaurants.  I guess the precooking did that.  No complaints here!

We were going to make fajitas, but didn't think about it until last minute so I'm off to put some steak, onions, and peppers in a marinade for tomorrow's dinner!  Mexican weekend, woo!

I hope you guys have had an awesome week!  I hope to be more regular in posting now that I'm over my scheduling issues.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Productivity, FTW!

I've had a wonderful weekend!  It's been productive and busy, but fun and relaxing at the same time.  I haven't thoroughly enjoyed a weekend in a VERY long time.  It's been a lovely way to prepare for tomorrow.

Friday night we spent the evening putting the finishing touches on cleaning the living room and putting things where they go, or finding things homes.  My sister in law gave us her old desk so she could free up room in their apartment, and since our old desk was beyond needing replacement, we happily took it, and are very thankful for her generosity.  Really, we're near broke with all of our bills, and she buys me coffee.  I owe her big time <3

Saturday I slept in, ran errands (breakfast, then grocery) in preparation for our mini Halloween party.  It was an excuse for us to hang out in costumes.  It wasn't really a party party or anything.  I didn't have a costume so I took my friend's lead and put on a corset, skirt, and did my hair and makeup all crazy.  Some people left around 10 to head to New Beginnings, others stayed later.  We bought simple foods so I didn't have to slave over the stove, which was awesome.  Ryan helped to clean up food, and I cleaned up the dishes this morning.  We combined our efforts to take down our Halloween decorations.  I kind of want to make silly little November crafts...things like you make in elementary school because the only decorations we have are little gourds.  2" diameter little.  

Today was spent cleaning, napping, hanging out with Diane and Nathaniel, finishing the desk repairs (it was poorly assembled), setting up our new computer space, and making dinner.  We are absolutely loving the new desk space.  It's much more sturdy and has more room so it looks well organized and put together.  I will also have legitimate desk space for studying when I go back to school.  The most uncomfortable room in the house suddenly became quite comfy.  The cat even likes it better.

Ryan wanted chicken pot pie so that is in the oven right now.  I am going to try my hardest to clean as I go as I know it will prove to be most efficient when my time will be consumed with studying.  In efforts to start on the right foot, I filled the sink with hot soapy water and dropped my used dishes in as I finished with them during dinner prep.  At the end of cooking, I washed, rinsed, put them in the drainer, and wiped down the counters while dinner was (and still is) cooking.  Now all I'll have to do is wash the plates/bowls we use for eating, woo!

Kitten has been over the top adorable today.  It's ridiculous.  She has been following us around the house and sleeping close by, whether it's on the couch, the kitchen floor, the back of the computer chair, in the floor by the desk.  It doesn't matter.  When she isn't sleeping, she's begging for attention.  So cute!

Diane had a dream that Ryan bought me four puppies.  I'd be happy with just one!  In fact, I think that's all I could handle.  But, it was a dream.  No puppies here :(

I've been having weird dreams this weekend.  They combine Dr. Who style directing and character profiles (not the exact characters), coworkers, and unfamiliar buildings.  It's all very weird and disturbing.  I'll be glad to get tomorrow over with.  

As far as eating goes, it seems that when I follow my calories to a T, I won't lose much if anything, but in splurging during Halloween and loosely logging my food, I've suddenly dropped a pound or so.  I triple and quadruple checked the scale, putting in different positions, on different surfaces, and it reads the exact same, within .2 lbs, two days in a row.  Strange, but I'm not complaining :)  

I hope you guys had a good weekend!  Here's to an awesome week!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

May the Force Be With You!

Or, me, rather.  I spoke to the Dean of Admissions today.  He was so nice and made me feel super welcome.  I've never felt that at ETSU.  He said that the fun of his job is getting to evaluate peoples' situations.  I'm apparently not the only person in the situation I'm in.  That's truly comforting.  I have to pay off my things at ETSU to get my transcripts transferred.  Depending on how many grades transfer, I could start out as a sophomore instead of a freshman.  This means less money spent toward a private school tuition, and less time spent getting my degree from them.  

As soon as I arrived to the campus, I loved it.  Everything is so small and cozy.  I asked how many students there were.  Roughly 500.  LOVE IT.  The campus is small so there will be no more of this 20 minute walk to class nonsense.  No more fighting for parking.  All of the staff were super friendly and helpful.  I also never experienced that at ETSU with exception of a select few professors, but never someone in administration.  

He said that even if my grades aren't that great at ETSU (depression and lack of knowing where your heading really kills your momentum and motivation), he looks at a person's situation and gets to know the students better.  I may or may not have starting tearing up talking about wanting to work with horses.  I'm such a pansy :P  He said I would be one of those cases where he would pass me through even if my grades were sub par since I had an obvious passion, drive, and goal for being a student there.  He also stated that my writing seemed very eloquent in our email correspondence so writing skills and critical thinking shouldn't be a problem as far as their standards go.  I didn't realize they were a selective, tiny, private school six and a half years ago when I applied.  I just applied because they had a program I was looking at during the time frame, but I've told you about all of that.

There are very few buildings, and they are very close together.  The architecture is absolutely gorgeous.  I love old buildings.  So awesome.  The campus itself is pretty.  I hate being part of a school with such a large student population like at ETSU.  It was part of what made it miserable for me.  I look forward to getting to know the professors and students who will be with me during my journey there.  There is a 10:1 student/professor ratio.  The Dean's psychology class only has 3 people in it!  Talk about one on one discussion and learning :D  I used to think I liked being passed over in the larger lecture type classes, but I really do learn better when I'm more involved.

I get to go to the barn on Saturday to watch people audition for scholarships.  I didn't realize you could get scholarships based on horseback riding.  So cool!  


I just want to get everything situated so I can start going!!!!!