Thursday, November 21, 2013

Art Therapy

I took an art therapy class during my second year of college. I hated it...probably my least favorite class. It felt very scripted and I felt fake. It was "art therapy", but I was graded on my art. I "didn't use enough color". They were MY expressions. It's was subjective. I didn't feel like a colorful person at the time. It made me angry. Who tells someone to express their thoughts through art and then gives them a lower grade because it wasn't what the teacher wanted?!  Therapy is about the client, or in this case, student. It turned me against the concept altogether. Like...passionately hated the topic since then. 

I watched a show on Netflix that incorporated art therapy. It seemed interesting, but I didn't think much of it. I went to the book store today and was really intrigued by the art books. After dinner to tonight I had the sudden urge to make art. 

Growing up I drew things from paper, never really creating anything original. Tonight, I had the urge to create...not because I *wanted* to make something, but because I *needed* to. I need therapy, and I'm not entirely willing to hunt down a psychologist.  I was shocked when I realized this. I feel that I have been dealing with things better...friendships, marriage, family.  I've been more direct than ever and I love it. I think that being more open has formed a path in which I want to be more artfully involved again. 

And so I pinned SEVERAL art therapy activities on Pinterest because, you know, I'm an addict. I am so excited! I've missed making art, but never really had a direction to go toward. I know art therapy isn't really a "direction", but I feel that it breaks the mindset that I have to be making art for a purpose, for it to look good, or for someone. Art is for me, though, not for a purpose, but for therapy, especially since I no longer have my piano. I still hold dark feelings toward my teacher for ruining something so important to me (I know...get over it), but she's no longer part of the process, an she can't put a grade on it now. 

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