I Am Shocked

I thought for sure I had ruined my calories for the day.  Note: I said "calories" not "nutrition".  My nutrition is shot.  Multivitamin, remember?

Breakfast was pie.  Oh, I forgot to tell you about that in this morning's post?  Yea, pie for dinner and, 12 hours later, pie for breakfast.  Living on the edge!  Whoa!  Anyhoo, my coworker shared some crack with me from Pal's.  Something about cheddar rounds that is absolutely delicious, and her not realizing there were that many in a large allowed me to have a few (sharing is caring don't you know?).  180 calories isn't so bad right?  Not until you add it to the pie calories from breakfast.  Oops.

So, I've been gorging on coffee.  She (same coworker) gets some Cheez-Its and realizes she doesn't like the flavor (smoked cheddar, omg) and gives them to me (sharing is becoming death).  I successfully stopped myself from eating the whole bag and only had a handful.  Go, me!  From here, I was just going to skip lunch since it was creeping up on 2pm and I leave work at 4:30 today, but my mom (who works for the same company) can't leave because she's the only member in her department here for the rest of the day, and she didn't bring lunch.  Brilliant.  

Being the loving daughter I am, and seeing as I somewhat owe her for the whole birthing and bringing me her leftovers (leftover food...not leftovers relating to birth...gross), etc, I figured I'd grab her something. I decided I could kill two birds with one stone (although I would never purposely kill a bird) and hit up Walgreens on the way to get food so I could get band aids.  Well, I didn't know it was ridiculously hot out today so I went straight for the drive through so I could get it done and over with.  I have no A/C in that '78 Nova that I drive.  It's miserable.  Vinyl interior, windows rolled up, in direct sunlight, no A/C.  Yep.  

Anyway, I decided that I should probably eat something besides pie and crackers today, but really didn't want anything from Burger King because everything there is RIDICULOUS....price, taste, calories.  All. Of. It.  I opted for a small "fruit smoothie", and they had raspberry (Yay!...sort of) so I thought I'd try it.  It's solid syrup at the bottom.  I hope I didn't cringe when they handed it to me.  If I did, I didn't realize it and they probably think horribly of me right now.  But, that's fine, because I kind of think horribly of Burger King in general, but whatever.

I get back to work, all pink from driving in that car, and look up the calories for that smoothie.  300 freaking calories!  I knew it was a sugary option when I realized it was all syrup and probably didn't have any actual fruit in it, but 300 calories?!?!  Turns out I was looking at the nutrition info for medium :D  My smaller, still overly sweet, "fruit smoothie" is 200 calories.  Not MUCH better, but that's 585 calories that I can potentially have for dinner instead of 485, cause once I get down in the 4's I start to feel caloric pressure.  That kind of sounds...scientific...  Is there such a thing as caloric pressure?  Google says there isn't.  I should write a thesis!

Anyway, I definitely didn't totally kill my calories.  I don't think I've had any healthy calories today, but I don't really care right now.  I should care, I know, but I'm tired of thinking about everything.  Weight loss is calories in vs calories out and as long as I'm not hungry (because hunger is the hardest part of this whole process), I'm happy...generally speaking.  It's just too stressful trying to think about portion sizes, calories, nutrition, being judged by what your eating, etc.  I just gotta remind myself...calories in vs calories out.  

I hope you guys have a good weekend!

Wondering Who Follows me on Twitter

I really hope none the my higher authority member from work do.  Or anyone important from a potential future employers.  Or, if they do, I hope they have a sense of humor.  Or, maybe they should follow me and not hire me so I don't end up working for some snot faced jerk.  These are the kinds of conversations I have over social media.  I don't think she'll mind me sharing.  If so, I'm sorry, Shannon!  It's not bad.  But, like I said, corporate members of "highly respected" companies may not approve :)

Shannon: I’m pretty certain that I’ve never heard the word “orgasm” uttered with such frequency in class before.

Me: Which class?

Shannon: science in the modern world.

Me: Ah.  I was kind of hoping for a class totally unrelated to orgasms.  Just for irony sake :P

Shannon: Yeah. It’s still kind of awkward, because he asked “what’s the function of the female orgasm?”

Shannon: I immediately thought f(orgasm) all math like, first guy said “there is no function, it’s a gift from god”

Me:  Hahah. How oldish is the professor?

Shannon: 30s?

Me:  Hahahahah That’s awesome

Shannon: and now he’s talking about the frequency of female orgasma.  Its awkwaaaard in here…

Me: frequency?  Starting to sound like math to me!

Shannon: and now…he’s talking about how penguins are “short-sighted”. I love having a British professor!

Me: Omg, he’s British?! :D

Me: Excuse me while I saw that a man with an accent like that can talk about orgasms all he wants ;)

Shannon: yes! It would only be more awesome if every 3^rd word wasn’t “uh”

Shannon: that’s partially why I was feeling awkward…  *blush*

Me: Ugh, “uh” every third word definitely kills the excitements :(

Shannon: and now we’ve gone from female orgasms, to penguins, and now male nipples… :/

Me: Very…diverse

What a Morning!

Ryan woke me up, after I had fallen asleep on the couch, to come to bed last night (early this morning?...not sure what time) so I got up, brushed my teeth, crawled in bed, and feel asleep.  Or so I thought.  I woke up still on the couch, because I never actually woke up!  I REALLY thought I had, but I guess not.  I was apparently tired enough that not having a blanket and freezing wouldn't wake me up.  While Ryan DID try to wake me (I remembered that correctly...still don't know what time it was), I just never...got up.  Thanks to my awesome biological clock, I woke up on time without an alarm.  Nice.

I got up, did something with my hair (something I never do), did my makeup (which I always try to do), got dressed and left for work (after telling Ryan about me being convinced that I had gotten up and went to bed).  I opted out of breakfast this morning.  Partly because I didn't have time to make anything, didn't want to spend the money on fast food, and I just didn't want to eat.

I was SO excited because I was in the work parking lot at 8:54am, even with a construction detour.  My shift starts at 9.  I'm ALWAYS at least two, if not 8 minutes late.  It was a miracle!  Or so I thought.  I heard my phone ringing...it was Ryan.  He has locked himself out of the house.  We only live 11 minutes away.  So instead of being early I was going to be 20 minutes late.  Anway, I leave immediately to head back home and there's a train where I need to cross.  Then the train STOPPED MOVING.  Really?!?!?!  I text my coworker the hilariousness and a picture to go with it.  I get home, keys are retrieved, I take off, and I hear my phone again.  It's Ryan "Yes, really".  My left brake light is out.  And I had to stop for three squirrels on the way back to work because they all tried to commit suicide at the same time.  I kid you not.  That was my morning, before I even got to work.

I know I said I opted out of breakfast, but that was a small lie.  My mom brought me lunch (planned and excited), but she offered me some peanut butter crackers and a Special K Bar when she got here.  I've eaten the crackers, but not the bar or lunch yet.  I'm really wanting to make coffee just so I can enjoy my creamer because I would look silly drinking them straight from their little cups...and it would be way too potent and sweet.  But, I'm partly too lazy to drag the coffee pot all the way downstairs, and risk spilling it on a computer while pouring it into the coffee machine, to actually make some.  I'll probably give in soon.  I really wanted coffee last night, but it was 9pm and that's just never a good idea.

Oh, I got batteries for our old Canon so I can get better pictures than my phone pictures so I had a picture of dinner (which was delicious), but I forgot the cable to transfer the images to the computer.  Figures.

Happy Wednesday, everyone!  Hope your day is as exciting as mine has been :D

I Need to Keep Notes

Because I always forget what I'm going to say!

Do you ever email yourself website links or information?  I do.  Most of my inbox is probably from myself because I'm too lazy to write stuff down and emails follow me a lot easier than paper does.

Anyway, I'm supposed to add details about the topics in my previous post.

Push ups:  I totally forgot about doing the 100 push up, 200 squats, 200 sit ups programs last week because I was exhausted most of the week and spent my time napping instead of working out.  It was also just a busy week in general.  I still haven't picked up where I left off, but I did take a minute to do as many of each as I could do.  I haven't lost any strength!  I haven't added anymore, but at least I *should* be able to pick up where I left off on the programs.

Tuberculosis: Me "What does taking antibiotics have to do with not eating spicy foods?"
Him "Didn't you hear her coughing?  She has tuberculosis!"
Me "Er...bronchitis?"
Him "...yea...that one"

Love him.

I can't remember what I was going to say about ants except that we have them in the office and I know they're not harmful, but they're quite pesty, and they've been here since before I started this position so I don't even know how they started...or why they're upstairs and not down?  I have some guesses, but I shouldn't have to guess.  They shouldn't even be here.  (I guess I had more to say than I thought)

My friend joined the Navy so we tolerated extended family at a going away party for her to show our support and how much we love her (because dealing with the family for her definitely shows our love).

I'm hoping to start Turbo Fire up again and be consistent with it.  Which reminds me.  I need to workout when I get home :(

I also want to start Couch to 5k because running is of great interest and I want to prove to myself that I can do it because I've always been a sucky runner and I envy people when they say they run.  It doesn't seem like it should be hard, but it effing is.

I've been researching cat food again and there is SO MUCH mixed information about what to feed them.  I understand that raw is best, canned next, and never dry food, but I have problems with this.  The sites all say "your cat's digestive system handles raw food bacteria than ours does".  Ok, that's great, but that's the problem.  *I* don't want to get sick because I'm feeding my cat raw food.  Cat eats raw food so e. coli, salmonella, whatever other bacteria get in their mouth, then they lick their paws and bacteria is now on the paws.  Then they walk all over the house, climb in bed, on the couches, transferring the bacteria to those places that I touch.  Then I touch my face, blow my nose, eat with my hands instead of utensils, and now I'm carrying the bacteria, end up sick, and die.  So, I'm sorry, but until I have a strictly outdoor cat (which isn't going to happen), I'm not going raw for my kitties.  Canned is next.  I cannot afford to buy quality canned food for my cats.  One site went on to say that the lowest quality canned food is better than the highest quality dry food.  I somehow don't believe that even though the reasoning seems sound.  Maybe I just don't want to deal with the stinky litter box.

Right now our cats get a grain free dry food with a canned evening meal.  Originally I bought grain free in efforts to help the oldest cat in determining his allergy sources, but the canned food has grains so there's really no point.  My cats go crazy over canned food and I really don't want to deal with that reaction with every meal time.  I also really don't want them eating such crappy canned food for every meal, even given the canned vs dry statement because, well, it's crappy, but we can't afford quality canned food.

Which brings us back to dry.  You can't find a dry food that doesn't contain corn or grains.  I'm assuming whole grain is better than other grain (brown vs white rice) so I would probably let up on the rice thing, but it's silly that all of these "high end" foods are claiming to be good for cats, charging and arm and leg for the product, but you look and they're filled with corn and white rice.  It shouldn't be so hard to find a "better than decent" cat food for your cat.  I say better than decent since no dry food is ideal for cats.

I'm stressing more about their eating than mine this week, which I think has kind of helped.  I've not been having panic attacks after work so far this week.  Although, I did kind of nap after work to avoid it >.<

Weekend/Monday Recap

Topics to start...descriptions coming later.

Push ups - maintained

Tuberculosis

Ants

Navy

Turbo Fire

Couch to 5K

Cat Food

I Can't Think of Clever Titles

I just can't.  I read loads of blogs and they always have clever titles.  I just...can't.  I don't know why.  It doesn't seem like it should be that difficult.  It makes me feel like the least creative person on the face of the planet.  But hey, at least I can carry a tune ;)

I was reading some older posts and I found the one talking about getting kicked out a local park one night.  I said something along the lines of use not having tattoos, piercings, crazy hair, etc, but of course I type too fast and don't always think about what I write.  Other times I think too much and explain why I write the things I do.  This is probably one situation where I should have explained myself.  I didn't mean that people with tattoos, piercings, and all there are bad people.  I LOVE those kinds of people (give or take a few, but that's with every sub culture) and if I were not attached (socially and legally) to the people I'm attached to, I would probably be covered.  Besides, I've seen what skin does when you age :P

I just meant that in our situation, most police officers would take that improperly and assume, based on how you look, that you were either well behaved or vandalizing.  It's quite sad, but unfortunately that is usually the case.

I have also talked about food issues.  I started having mild (yesterday was quite bad, actually) panic attacks when I get home from work.  It's probably really silly to most people, and I try to convince myself that it is, but it's really a big issues for me.  I stress out over the simplest food decisions.  I'm used to coming home and snacking, even if I'm not hungry.  In an effort to break this habit, I've started bypassing the kitchen and going straight into other areas of the house because I'm apparently weak with no willpower and have stuffed my face before I've even thought to stop myself.  Then I'm devastated because I definitely just did that.

It's usually something sweet, the other day it was leftover mac and cheese.  I did good one day and made a low calorie cake in a mug, but I'm not always in the proper mindset to make a good choice and usually completely sabotage any good efforts I've made during the day.  Yesterday, just walking into the kitchen and being in the room caused my ears to get hot and I had to sit down because I was making myself sick and dizzy over the issue.  It feels like the silliest thing ever.  I had to make a cup of hot tea last night to chill out because I was so upset by that reaction that I couldn't sleep.  

And I go through phases like this.  I'll be fine some weeks and feel I've really gotten a handle on my eating and food choices, then I'll completely relapse into a horrible relationship, whether it's letting go of my "diet" altogether or just stressing out about little choices.  I know I'm not alone and that other people have these issues, too, but I feel crazy for even feeling like that.  I mean, it's freaking food.  What's so hard about it?!?!

I should mention that the kitchen is most definitely not clean because of this.  It's *that* ridiculous :/

Random Bits of Energy

I think I need more fruits and veggies in my life.  I'm been feeling sluggish.  Yesterday was the most energetic I've been in a while.  I think it's just too many carbs, not enough actual nutrients...maybe not enough water.

Anyway, I FINALLY got new shoes! :D

I REALLY wanted these for their color, but they weren't on sale.

I settled for the teal because they're the EXACT same shoe, just different color, and these were actually on sale (clearance, woo!), which I still love as far as fit and support goes, but I can't wear them with everything like I can the grey ones.  

I'm having second thoughts, though.  I mean, any time we go out on long foot trips, I have to wear my tennis shoes, and the teal really won't match anything so I'll be stuck wearing not so comfy shoes.  Blah.  So silly.

I'm having some serious allergy issues, too.  I think it's the office.  My nose is stopped up, but all of my membranes are DRY...eyes included.  Nonsense!

This weekend should prove to be most eventful, hoping along the lines of exciting and not so much the lines of stressful :)

Hope you guys have a good weekend!

Make good choices ;)